Dealing With Your Partner Who Is Not Out of the Closet Yet

Dealing With Your Partner Who Is Not Out of the Closet Yet

Leaving the closet can be challenging, and it’s not easy for anyone. People are afraid of what their loved ones might think and whether they will accept them for who they are. However, what happens if you have already made this important step, but your partner hasn’t? Is there a way to go around this, and how can you deal with dating someone in the closet?

The Problem

Being in a relationship isn’t easy. Things can get even more difficult for people who are still in the closet. There is a chance that you are in a relationship with someone who still wants to keep everything a secret. Naturally, it is their secret to share, and they should do it when they are ready and on their own terms.

We all know that when you love someone, you want to share it with the world and let everyone know. Unfortunately, you will need to respect their decision and let them announce it when they feel comfortable. The main problem here is that it might feel as if they are pulling you back into the closet. You won’t be able to talk to your family and friends, and their secret becomes yours. For many, it might feel shameful and as if they aren’t too keen on telling people about you.

See this article to know how to respect your partner in a relationship.

Don’t Be Selfish; It’s Not Always About You

Why aren’t they telling people about me? Why is our relationship a secret? Are they ashamed of me? The answer is no. You need to understand that the situation is not about you. They are struggling with their sexuality as many other people, and they need to find a way to accept who they are. It might be challenging for them; they might be scared that their family won’t accept them, and so on.

The problem is most probably not about you, and they enjoy being with you. While it might seem like they are having doubts about you, the best possible thing to do is ignore the feeling and let them deal with the problem on their own terms.

Do Not Pressure Your Partner

You might have had an easy time telling people about your sexual orientation, but it’s not easy for everyone. You may be wondering how to help someone come out of the closet, but they should do it when they feel comfortable and when they find the opportunity. Your parents might be cool, and they might have accepted you from the start, but there are so many people who are afraid that they will lose people they care about, so let them take it slow.

The worst thing you can do is pressure your partner and force them to get out of the closet before they are ready. If things go well, it will be great. However, in any other scenario, they would blame you, and with every right.

Get Help From Support Groups

There are many support systems and groups available where people will give advice and share their experiences with the same situation. You might want to get in touch with one of these groups. If there are no support groups in your area or city, you can always find them on social media.

They will be able to talk to your partner, and there is a high chance that someone was in a similar situation before.

See the benefits of joining a support group.

Let Him/Her Do It Himself/Herself

Coming out of the closet is not easy. It might be a smart thing in the long run, but people need to get there on their own. It is a challenging step to take, and forcing someone to do it will almost always lead to a bad situation.

Instead, you should support your partner and be there for them. Let them know that you love them and that you agree with their decision, whatever it is. It is an important decision, and they alone should decide when the time is right.

Support Your Partner but Don’t Forget About Yourself

As we have mentioned, support is important. It is crucial for any type of relationship. However, you should remember to take care of yourself as well. Forcing your partner to do something they don’t want or aren’t ready to do is always wrong. On the other hand, you have your own wishes, plans, and desires. It is perfectly normal for you to want something else.

If you want to avoid getting in such a relationship in the first place, and you suspect the other person may be hiding the fact that they are not out, you might notice some signs she’s in the closet (or he).

However, if you’re in a relationship already, instead of pushing your partner towards your own goal, you should know when it’s time to call quits. If you don’t share the same goals or ideals and if you don’t see yourself going back to the closet, it is your own right to do so. It is always better to back out of the relationship than to force someone to change or adapt to something you want. If it’s not working, it might be time to seek happiness elsewhere.