Infidelity in the World of Gay Relationships
Many people believe that gay men are more likely to cheat. Is this true? Or is it just a myth people love to repeat? Let’s take a closer look at gay cheating and see whether long-term relationships are possible for gay couples.
Let’s Talk About Numbers
With all the problems non-heterosexual people are going through, it’s a common belief that everything becomes perfect once gay marriages are legalized. Everyone can get married and live happily ever after. However, LGBTQ+ people go through all the problems just like everyone else, and infidelity is something they struggle with as well.
The Health Equality and Rights Organization did some research, and they found out that 52% of gay and bisexual men had cheated on their partners. The study involved nearly 1,000 men. Interestingly, 45% of gay cheating boyfriends said they managed to keep it a secret. Of course, we can’t determine whether their partners know about the cheating, but the numbers are rather interesting.
Over the years, numerous studies have shown that men are more likely to cheat in relationships. Does this mean that two guys in a relationship have even smaller chances of success?
Why Do Gay Men Cheat on Their Partners?
The first question you might have is — why do gay men cheat? There are a couple of things we need to discuss first. Some men will cheat because they aren’t satisfied with the relationship. They might not be getting enough attention; they could have met someone they fell in love with, or there might be any other reason that may apply to the heterosexual relationship as well. This is all normal.
We can’t control our feelings, and things like this tend to happen to everyone. Needless to say, if you are in a committed relationship, cheating is wrong, and it is always a better option to break up than to hurt someone’s feelings and go behind their back. When we say normal, we mean that it is normal in terms of arguments and reasons. We don’t want to say that this type of behavior is okay and that people should get used to being cheated on.
The second part of the argument for cheating gay relationships is more interesting. It turns out that monogamous relationships work differently for gay couples. The reason for this is that many gay men believe promiscuous behavior is normal. At the same time, the majority of men won’t tolerate cheating. Over 60% of men have said that they would break up if they caught their partner cheating. So why is cheating so common if so many people disapprove of the act?
It might be due to the fact that they spent the majority of their lives being told what to do and how to behave. Once they admit that they are who they are, it is possible that they will try to break the stereotypes and leave the rules to someone else. Of course, each person will have their own reasons for their actions, and there isn’t a single rule that can apply to anyone.
Recovering From Cheating
If you have found yourself on the shorter end of the stick, you are probably wondering what you can do to recover. The first thing you need to understand is that it can happen to anyone. All of us have made mistakes in our lives, and it is not your fault. Accept that things have happened, and that will allow you to start healing. There is no reason for you to live in the past and try to figure out what it was that you did wrong. The answer is probably — nothing.
People who cheat are real, and they need to figure out how to live with it or to find a person to start an open relationship with. Either way, it’s their problem, not yours. Your number one priority should be to move on and stop worrying about what-ifs and whether there was something you could have said or done. Focus on what you love and what makes you happy.
It is not an easy road to take. It will hurt, but eventually, you will feel better. The best advice would be to forgive your partner and move on. You don’t need any negativity in your life.
Should You Give Him Another Chance?
The rule of thumb would be to say no. People don’t change. Yes, they might learn new things, evolve, and improve. However, the very essence of what they are will hardly change. If they have admitted to cheating on you, that means that there is something that made them feel like they want to search for happiness elsewhere. They might ask for a second chance, but the reason for that is usually nostalgia. They remember the good times, and they believe this time will be different. Newsflash — it rarely is.
Unless you have changed along the way and now think that cheating is okay, there is no reason for you to start the whole thing again. You have every right to ask for exclusivity, just as they can desire the opposite. It would be wrong to force either one to stick to the rules they don’t want. So leave it in the past, remember the good times you had together, and move on.
Not All Hope Is Lost
Whatever you decide in the end, you should know that all hope is not lost. If you decide to get back to your ex, it doesn’t mean that they will do it again. Yes, the statistics are against you, but each of us is different. They might have made a mistake, and there is a chance it was a one-time thing.
However, if you decide to move on, do it with grace. Leave the pain, jealousy, guilt, and everything else in the past. New things are waiting for you, and you should be ready to enjoy them when they arrive.