Stages of Healthy Gay Relationships

Stages of Healthy Gay Relationships

Finding a perfect partner can be difficult sometimes. However, what happens when you stumble on them in one of your favorite LGBT places? Suddenly, the fireworks go off in your stomach. That’s the feeling we all know and love.

Once you get into a relationship, there are certain stages you have to go through to ensure that your relationship is healthy. Check out which stage you might be in right now.

The Beginning

Welcome to the beginning stages of your new healthy relationship! There are many things that are a part of this stage, and we’re sure you’re already familiar with some of them. If not, have no fear. We’re here to tell you all about it.

What does a beginning stage mean? Everything is perfect! You’re going on a lot of dates, and there’s a lot of romance involved. You know — rose petals on the bed, fancy dates, all that good stuff.

Another thing is that you feel nothing but happiness. You’re overjoyed, and there’s simply no room for any negative feelings. This is the stage where you feel all the butterflies in your stomach at the mere thought of your partner. Everyone loves this part the most, but it doesn’t last forever.

Things unfold a little differently for gay couples, but the beginning stage is mostly the same for all.

The Learning Stage

After the perfect beginning stage comes the learning stage. Don’t worry — happiness doesn’t go away at this point. You simply start to learn more about your partner.

People say that love can make us a little blind — and they’re talking about the beginning stage! You’re not focusing on who your partner truly is as a person. Romance clouds your judgment. However, this is the stage where you start to get to know each other better.

During this stage, you might realize that you and your partner want different things or maybe you just have different goals. There can be differences in how public you want your relationship to be. Not everyone is accepting of gay couples, so that’s quite understandable.

Once you start getting to know each other better, compromise comes into play. You’ll have to sacrifice your wishes to satisfy your partner sometimes. Not everything will always be about you.

The Reality Stage

As the title suggests, this is where it all gets a little too real. Knowing each other well and being your own person are a part of a healthy relationship too. So this is the stage in which you realize you’re two completely different people.

Sure, we know you have some — or a lot of — things in common. However, those aren’t the things that will ensure your relationship survives all trials and tribulations. You can only achieve that by feeling comfortable with your differences.

Many problems might arise because of the differences. You might also have to swallow your pride because of them too sometimes. The main thing you have to do is act like an adult. The same applies to your partner too.

Being stubborn and childish won’t get you anywhere. It will only show your partner that you aren’t ready for a stable relationship yet.

Know how to get comfortable with other people in this Psychology Today article.

The Stronger Bond Stage

You’ll enter this stage being okay with the fact that you’re two different people. You each have your own needs and wants. What’s important is that you understand and respect your partner’s desires. So with that in mind, we arrive at the stage that strengthens your bond.

This stage is a part of your relationship where you start understanding each other better — to no surprise since you’ve gotten to know each other quite well through the previous stages. Now you know your partner and what they need.

Here’s where you learn how to navigate your relationship. Problem-solving should be one of your strongest suits at this point. LGBT couples have to deal with a variety of problems that straight couples just don’t have. That’s why having a strong bond matters.

Thankfully, there’s a whole stage dedicated to exactly that. Rest assured that everything should be smooth sailing from now on.

The Routine Stage

How smooth of a sailing your relationship will be, though, depends solely on how you handle routines. Honestly, this is the part that can either make or break a relationship. Still, we think it should be easy to handle. You’ve been through so much already; it would be a shame if a little routine causes everything to disappear.

At this point, you know pretty much everything about your partner, from their simple needs to their deepest secrets. Furthermore, your relationship has become a big routine. You text the same messages while at work and have the same conversations before bed.

However, this stage is easy to conquer with a simple trick — being creative! Find new things to do or put a spin on old things you know you enjoy doing. At this point, anything will bring a breath of fresh air into your relationship.


These are the stages every healthy relationship goes through. Thankfully, many of the couples make it to the end. The routine stage might seem boring but not when you know how to spice things up.

The best relationship advice we can give you is to always stay true to yourself, no matter your sexual orientation. Always be honest with your partner too. Gay and lesbian couples might face more complex challenges, but you can overcome everything when you stick together.