Types of People on Grindr
The Guys You’ll Meet on Grindr
Grindr came out in 2009, long before many of its users. It was supposed to be Tinder for gay men. And that’s exactly what it is, with members using the dating app to hook up with guys nearby. Basically, as Billy Eichner put it, Tinder is a lot of straight people pretending it’s for dating, but really using it for sex. On the other hand, Grindr is for gay guys who are not pretending it’s for anything other than meeting up and having sex.
Grindr devs may have initially envisioned they would facilitate meetups within the gay community where guys from different walks of life would get together for a picnic and romantic strolls. However, Grindr has turned out to be a different kind of app. You’ll be hard-pressed to point at someone who could proudly say: “I met my partner on Grindr.” That happens virtually never. It’s a bunch of DTF guys looking to have some careless fun, and if you want to be one of them, you should hop on your app store!
The Great Gay App
Grindr is the king of gay hookups when it comes to dating apps. Obviously, Tinder and match.com have a larger following, but they have a broader audience as well. However, when it comes to exclusively gay users, you can’t look past Grindr. There are 27 million users on that app, which span across more than 200 countries. Out of the 27 million, 3.8 million use the app on a daily basis. Those are huge numbers for an app that exists to connect gay guys for a one-night stand.
These huge numbers, obviously, bring in a variety of folks together. The more you spend your time on Grindr, talking and meeting up with different types of guys, the more you’ll find that there are certain patterns in behavior. In fact, if you have enough experience, you’ll be able to make an easy distinction about which type your potential date belongs to. Let’s take a look!
The Types of Men You’ll Meet
Our reliance on dating apps has increased over time, so much so that we’ve now developed our “dating app personalities.” In other words, we behave differently on them than we do in real life. When you’re on Grindr, you’ll notice different types of guys jumping into your inbox. We’ve placed them into eight categories, so let’s check them out!
Conversation Killer
This is probably the most common type of all the guys you meet on Grindr. What’s more, it’s not an exclusive type, as there are plenty of those on Tinder as well. These are the guys who simply couldn’t have a proper convo even if you begged them to. They usually hit you up with a “Hey, what’s up?” So, even if you respond to that, they’ll reply with a one-liner, such as “Nice.” Not a cool guy to chat with, not a cool guy to have sex with.
No Face Nigel
Nigel is the type of dude who refuses to show his face when posting his pictures. In fact, he refuses to show any part of his body. There are simply no pictures of him uploaded. Sadly, that doesn’t stop him from inviting you over for a cup of tea and a spoonful of cock. Even if you ask him for a face pic, he still won’t send one, but he will continue chatting. You don’t have to be a private investigator to realize this is a huge red flag, and you should probably avoid Nigel.
The Psycho
Psychos are usually good-looking and seem nice at first. They are pretty shady in that you can meet with them several times and not know they’re a psycho. However, the first time you leave your phone unattended and don’t reply to them, that’s when they reveal their true colors. The psycho will immediately think you’re trying to play mind games. They’ll start insulting you the moment you don’t come over at 3 AM. It’s just downhill from there, and you’ll end up scrolling through other guys in no time.
The Dick Pick Guy
This guy has no time to spare. The conversation may have only started, but that doesn’t mean he’s not about to send you a photo of his skin flute. No questions asked, no answers given — just a dick pick right off the bat. If you’re lucky, it might feature a banana for comparison. If you’re not, he’ll use the Amazon Stick.
Closeted Straight Guy
This one’s fairly common. It’s basically a gay guy who will insist he is still straight even after he’s had sex with you. They usually have a “masc for masc” bio, and they delude themselves by redefining masculinity. Hey, closeted straight guys, just get over it and have fun.
Gym Buff Only
This is a gym rat. He sleeps, works out, eats, tries to give himself bulimia, works out some more. He does all of that in the gym. He’s there 24/7, working out ten times a week — “No pain, no gain, bro!” He does have a great body, but that’s where all his goods end most of the time. If you’re into that sort of thing, go for it, but don’t expect any wholesome conversations.
Sugar Daddy
This one is pretty self-explanatory. It’s a guy who will be straight-forward about his “generosity” and his will to reward you for spending time with him. This is a financial fetish, and these guys are hard to come by. Obviously, he’s not giving you money for your pretty face — he wants your pretty something else. But, if you’re okay with that, you’ll both get something cool out of it.
Unicorn
This is the guy who’s perfect in every way. He’s a 10/10, charming, tells amazing stories, and never starts a conversation with a “Hey, what’s up.” We call these guys unicorns because they don’t exist on Grindr. If you think you’re talking to a unicorn, be careful, you’re probably talking to the psycho.
Be More Cautious Than Horny
Your number one priority should always be safety when hooking up on Grindr (and we’re not talking about condoms here). Think about it for a second — you’re going to meet up with a person you’ve never met and go to their home. Be careful not to end up being robbed or assaulted. Always ask for pictures and phone numbers so that you make sure you’re not being catfished. If you want to be extra-safe, you can request a FaceTime session.
In the end, if you feel something is wrong about the whole ordeal, trust your gut. Don’t show up at all. Or, if you’re that thirsty, go, but make sure you’ve shared your location with friends you trust. Have fun!
